Without a doubt the most common astrological questions that people ask have to do with relationships! Whether it is a brand new relationship or one of 20+ years, relating with another person can be complicated and hard work! People want to know about compatibility–whether it be about romance, business, or even how to best relate with their child. To really understand relationships you need to go MUCH deeper than simply a comparison of sun, moon and rising signs. The best tools to really analyze the dynamic of how you relate to another person are the synastry and composite charts.
Relationship Astrology
A synastry chart is essentially a “double chart” that shows both people’s planets at once (one wheel inside the other) and allows for an easy view of how the planets aspect one other. This chart also will show how the one partner’s planets fall into the other partner’s houses and vice versa. Differing from that, a composite chart is a unique-to-the-couple “birth chart” that is drawn by taking the midpoints of all of the placements for the two people. This chart shows how your energies combine (blend) into one shared energy. You even get your own “couples” rising sign that will show how others first perceive you two together–the energy that you both bring into a room when you enter it together. You can learn a wealth of knowledge about the dynamics of a relationship and how you relate to another using both of these types of charts.
The 7th House
There is another place to FIRST look if you want to know about relationships that is (not so) hidden in your very own birth chart. I call this your “astrological homework”. By examining your 7th house, the house opposite to the 1st house, you can learn a lot about your perception of ‘the other’. To really understand the 7th house it helps to review the meaning of the 1st house. The 1st house (which is ruled by your rising sign) shows how you see yourself and also your general vibe, or aura that you present to the world before you even speak. In contrast, the 7th house is your perception of, and what you project onto “the other”. It is representative of long term relationships because your partner becomes the ultimate ‘other’ in your life (it can also represent a best friend, business partner and/or other one-on-one relationships).
Often called your shadow sign, the 7th house is the sign that is setting over the horizon at the time of your birth. It contains the traits that you see ‘the other’ as having that you may believe you do not posses. The positive traits of this sign will be what you tend to be attracted to in a potential long term partner. However, the negative traits can also be subconsciously projected onto your partner over time by you, especially if you are not aware of this tendency. Understanding that these traits that you seek in a partner (or project onto them) are in fact a part of yourself is the shadow work that will help you in all your future partnerships. It is so incredibly important to make sure that you are not “giving away” the shadow sign, and instead incorporating it into yourself. We need all the parts of ourselves to be a well rounded, functioning member of society.
Diving Deeper
There is more to the 7th house than simply the sign that rules it. That sign will have a ruling planet. It is important to check the condition of that planet. It will function better if it likes the sign that it falls in. You can also see what aspects the ruling planet of your 7th house make to other planets and what house it falls into. These themes can help to tell the story of how you form relationships. For example, if the ruling planet of your 7th house is found in the 6th house, there is a possibility that you may meet your partner at work or the gym (or another place that represents the necessary routine things of life). In addition, the planets that fall within your 7th house (and their aspects) will alter what you admire about and project onto your partner.
It is important to not ‘give away’ or vilify the planets within your 7th house. For example, let’s say you have the moon in the 7th house. If you give the moon away, you may tend to value other people’s emotions over your own. If you vilify the moon, you may see others as dramatic and moody while you see yourself as always being the level headed one. Pluto can be a very difficult planet to have in the 7th house as it can manifest as being attracted to powerful and dynamic partners but can also run the risk of crossing the line into attracting or creating the dynamic of having a manipulative, controlling, or power hungry partner. In this example the necessary shadow work is to realize that you, yourself are powerful and have the potential to be manipulative yourself. Once you’re aware of these patterns you can begin the break them and begin to behave intentionally.
Takeaways for Your Relationship
Relationships are without a doubt one of the most important aspects of life. We all want to get along better with our partners and understand their true motivations. Examining the dynamics between two people is incredibly important and can show areas where the couple is strong and areas where they can work to relate to one another better. We should all actively strive to improve our relationships. The best tools for these endeavors are the synastry and composite charts. However, before embarking on this journey I would recommend first examining your own 7th house of your natal chart. You would be missing out on a lot of valuable information and the opportunity for self growth if you didn’t first spend time learning about what you’re attracted to and have the tendency to project on your partner. You may have repeating relationship patterns that you are unaware of. It is fundamentally important to understand yourself and your emotions (do your shadow work) before you enter a relationship, especially if you hope to be able to communicate your feelings well and be able to grow in your partnership. If you’d like to learn more about ways to do your own shadow work or want to get more information on booking a session to learn more about your relationships please do not hesitate to reach out. I would LOVE to work with you!